Why We Sold Everything and Left the United States
People always ask us “why did you leave?” like they expect a dramatic answer. The truth is less cinematic and more practical than most people want to hear.
The Short Version
We left because we could. Remote work made it possible, and the math made it obvious.
The Longer Version
It started earlier than you’d think. In 2014, we drove a road trip across the southern US, then boarded a transatlantic cruise to Europe — our first time overseas together. Something shifted. In 2015, we went back for a full year: Spain, Italy, Greece, Cyprus, Romania, Croatia, Czech Republic, Montenegro, Germany. That year was supposed to be a one-time adventure.
We came home, got married in 2016, and bought a house in Temecula, California. We ran it as a vacation rental on the side, built careers, and did the comfortable American life for a few years. But 2015 had planted something we couldn’t unplant. We knew it was possible to live well overseas for less money. We knew remote work could go anywhere.
Then COVID hit. Working from home proved our jobs didn’t need a zip code. The vacation rental taught us income could be location-independent. By 2021, we were staring at our mortgage payment and asking “why are we still doing this?” And after two years of lockdowns, “someday” stopped sounding like a plan and started sounding like an excuse.
The Exit
On New Year’s Eve 2021, we closed on the sale of our house. We shipped what we couldn’t carry, gave away the rest, and flew to Madrid. And then, in the most 2022 way possible, we immediately caught COVID. Our first week of nomad life was spent quarantined in a Madrid hotel room, sick and wondering if we’d made a terrible mistake.
We hadn’t. Once we recovered, we flew to Porto and never looked back.
The Math
Our monthly expenses in the US:
- Mortgage + property taxes: $2,200
- Health insurance: $1,400 (thanks, America)
- Car payment + insurance + gas: $800
- Utilities: $350
- Food: $800
- Random American spending: $500
Total: ~$6,050/month
Our average monthly expenses in Europe:
- Apartment: $1,200
- Health insurance (SafetyWing): $170
- No car: $0
- Utilities: Usually included
- Food: $500
- Everything else: $300
Total: ~$2,170/month
That’s a $3,880/month difference. Nearly $47,000 a year. We’re not penny-pinchers — we eat out regularly, take trains, live in furnished apartments with good internet. We just live in places where life costs less.
The Queer Factor
We don’t talk about this enough, but it matters. As a same-sex married couple in the US, we were watching state legislatures debate our rights as though our marriage was a policy position. We lived in a relatively progressive area, but the national mood was exhausting.
Europe isn’t perfect — we’ve lived in countries where same-sex marriage isn’t legal. But in most of Western and Southern Europe, being gay is simply… not interesting to anyone. Nobody stares. Nobody debates our existence on cable news. That psychological relief is worth more than any cost savings.
What We Gave Up
Let’s be honest about the hard parts:
- Family proximity: Our families are in the US. We see them once or twice a year. Video calls help, but they’re not the same
- Healthcare continuity: We use travel insurance (SafetyWing) and pay out of pocket for routine care. It works, but there’s no safety net for something catastrophic
- Stability: Every 1-6 months, we uproot and start over. That wears on you in ways you don’t expect
- Stuff: We own almost nothing. Two suitcases each. No art on the walls, no familiar kitchen
- A “home”: We don’t have one. That sounds freeing until you’re exhausted and just want your own couch
Three Years Later
Are we happy we did it? Genuinely, yes. We’ve lived in 17+ countries, seen parts of Europe that most American tourists never will, and built a life that feels intentional instead of default.
But we also won’t pretend it’s all sunsets and espresso. Some months are lonely. Some apartments are terrible. Some border crossings are stressful. This life isn’t an escape — it’s a different set of tradeoffs.
We chose these tradeoffs. And three years in, we’d choose them again.